








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,773 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 664 | 24% |
| Smokes | 535 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1077 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 497 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $537,711 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manfred | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | El Tarantufrett | 48% | 99 |
| #3 | Dodos Füße muchten | 43% | 53 |
| #4 | El Alejandro | 39% | 36 |
| #5 | SUTNEV aka. VENTUS für arme | 34% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Tarantufrett | 194 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Dodos Füße muchten | 155 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Nuggets02 | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | El Alejandro | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | SUTNEV aka. VENTUS für arme | 29 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manfred | +5.03 | 66 | 56 |
| #2 | El Tarantufrett | +3.67 | 63 | 49 |
| #3 | El Alejandro | +1.70 | 67 | 42 |
| #4 | Dodos Füße muchten | +0.81 | 76 | 43 |
| #5 | Maniok | +0.49 | 56 | 36 |





