








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 155 | 47% |
| Smokes | 13 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 143 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 16 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $91,305 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tittiges Ungetüm aka HUSO | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Dodos Füße muchten | 39% | 18 |
| #3 | El Tarantufrett | 38% | 39 |
| #4 | Teekannenberbermann mit EZ | 34% | 90 |
| #5 | Nuggets02 | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Tarantufrett | +5.16 | 66 | 57 |
| #2 | Tittiges Ungetüm aka HUSO | +1.64 | 11 | 23 |
| #3 | Nuggets02 | +1.40 | 58 | 41 |
| #4 | Dodos Füße muchten | +1.16 | 83 | 37 |
| #5 | MorWest [ger] | +0.54 | 21 | 0 |





