










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1048 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1283 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1033 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 560 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 807 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $737,775 of utility $284 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 520 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tippex | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Sad Sam | 59% | 56 |
| #3 | アレックス | 56% | 78 |
| #4 | PanStyx | 53% | 95 |
| #5 | IVN | 53% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | IVN | 53% | 59 |
| #6 | ThomaS | 50% | 18 |
| #7 | Timbo | 50% | 38 |
| #8 | Tenkei | 48% | 54 |
| #9 | Nissen | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PanStyx | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | IVN | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Sad Sam | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | アレックス | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Tippex | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IVN | 243 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | アレックス | 184 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | PanStyx | 170 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Timbo | 118 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tippex | 103 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThomaS | +4.28 | 70 | 71 |
| #2 | Tippex | +1.95 | 69 | 74 |
| #3 | アレックス | +0.67 | 73 | 58 |
| #4 | PanStyx | +0.56 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | IVN | -0.00 | 58 | 64 |





