








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 881 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5393 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3745 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3651 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6171 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,627,460 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 951 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1hasnoodles | 63% | 250 |
| #2 | -Traz-� | 61% | 482 |
| #3 | Evil | 56% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1hasnoodles | 63% | 250 |
| #2 | -Traz-� | 61% | 482 |
| #3 | Evil | 56% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evil | 28 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | -Traz-� | 16 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | 1hasnoodles | 10 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Traz-� | 746 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #2 | Evil | 394 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | 1hasnoodles | 143 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaTJoFC | +3.80 | 88 | 58 |
| #2 | -Traz-� | +2.24 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | 1hasnoodles | -0.72 | 62 | 48 |
| #4 | Evil | -2.21 | 49 | 59 |





