








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1730 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 327 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7702 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8993 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7207 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 9219 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,107,540 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1079 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaTJoFC | 61% | 482 |
| #2 | 1hasnoodles | 61% | 332 |
| #3 | Evil | 56% | 220 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaTJoFC | 61% | 482 |
| #2 | 1hasnoodles | 61% | 332 |
| #3 | Evil | 56% | 220 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaTJoFC | 37 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Evil | 36 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | 1hasnoodles | 14 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaTJoFC | 1131 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #2 | Evil | 379 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | 1hasnoodles | 192 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaTJoFC | +3.69 | 87 | 58 |
| #2 | -Traz-� | +2.35 | 64 | 61 |
| #3 | 1hasnoodles | -0.68 | 64 | 49 |
| #4 | Evil | -2.27 | 49 | 61 |





