








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 950 | 26% |
| Smokes | 857 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1083 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 788 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $589,921 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miksu | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | SH4FT | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | wander | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Epppz | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | EL PULIUKKO | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | wander | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Epppz | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | EL PULIUKKO | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | yes i am | 50% | 24 |
| #7 | masa | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masa | 6 | 0.0216 |
| #2 | SH4FT | 4 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | Miksu | 3 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | wander | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SH4FT | 101 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #2 | yes i am | 58 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Epppz | 57 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | masa | 41 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | wander | 24 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epppz | +1.70 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | heittoS | +1.56 | 79 | 53 |
| #3 | SH4FT | +0.44 | 56 | 73 |
| #4 | EL PULIUKKO | -0.75 | 74 | 72 |
| #5 | wander | -0.79 | 50 | 68 |





