








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2398 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1834 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1691 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1951 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $389,576 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 308 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ MasTeR | 72% | 39 |
| #2 | ✪ MasTeR | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | ☠✞THE_PÛÑÏŚHÊR✞☠ | 70% | 163 |
| #4 | mictiaN | 70% | 43 |
| #5 | OppenHymen | 68% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | OppenHymen | 68% | 19 |
| #6 | Discalculia#PKMKB | 68% | 106 |
| #7 | KR1ST0F | 67% | 27 |
| #8 | ♤︎❣︎!>bO! <!❣ | 66% | 136 |
| #9 | SD_Pro_Newbie | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☠✞THE_PÛÑÏŚHÊR✞☠ | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ♤︎❣︎!>bO! <!❣ | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ✪ MasTeR | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | mictiaN | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | KR1ST0F | 3 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♤︎❣︎!>bO! <!❣ | 857 | 0.36 | 22 min |
| #2 | ☠✞THE_PÛÑÏŚHÊR✞☠ | 311 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Discalculia#PKMKB | 242 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | ✪ MasTeR | 152 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | mictiaN | 70 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaddY. | +3.85 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | ✪ MasTeR | +3.64 | 63 | 42 |
| #3 | ✪ MasTeR | +3.23 | 75 | 71 |
| #4 | KR1ST0F | +3.19 | 80 | 35 |
| #5 | ☠✞THE_PÛÑÏŚHÊR✞☠ | +2.48 | 81 | 47 |





