








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 594 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 108 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1628 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1503 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1147 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1041 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $621,130 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 592 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaddY. | 70% | 43 |
| #2 | Pvt. Parts | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | ✪ MasTeR | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | ☠✞THE_PÛÑÏŚHÊR✞☠ | 61% | 74 |
| #5 | ♤︎❣︎!>bO! <!❣ | 60% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♤︎❣︎!>bO! <!❣ | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | NeiL | 6 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | PIRATEKING | 4 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | ☠✞THE_PÛÑÏŚHÊR✞☠ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | FaddY. | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♤︎❣︎!>bO! <!❣ | 458 | 0.35 | 13 min |
| #2 | NeiL | 168 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | ☠✞THE_PÛÑÏŚHÊR✞☠ | 137 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | × CRISPY CHICKEN × | 119 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #5 | FaddY. | 117 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☠✞THE_PÛÑÏŚHÊR✞☠ | +3.47 | 82 | 43 |
| #2 | FaddY. | +3.39 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | mictiaN | +3.32 | 79 | 53 |
| #4 | ✪ MasTeR | +3.15 | 56 | 34 |
| #5 | caT | +2.72 | 82 | 55 |





