








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,107 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 922 | 18% |
| Smokes | 736 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1845 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1604 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $669,885 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akagami | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | RAD1AC | 12 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Jarr!0n | 11 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Varr!0n | 10 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | TahirZadeh | 8 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akagami | 199 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | RAD1AC | 181 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | TahirZadeh | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jarr!0n | 74 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Varr!0n | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |





