








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1711 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2292 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1304 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2512 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $434,647 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Varr!0n | 47% | 154 |
| #5 | akagami | 46% | 311 |
| #6 | Varyox!0n | 45% | 187 |
| #7 | Jarr!0n | 39% | 171 |
| #8 | RAD1AC | 39% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAD1AC | 40 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | akagami | 25 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Jarr!0n | 20 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Varr!0n | 18 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Varyox!0n | 12 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akagami | 618 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | RAD1AC | 594 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #3 | Varr!0n | 159 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jarr!0n | 136 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Varyox!0n | 106 | 0.03 | 3 min |





