








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 827 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4403 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8151 | 42% |
| Smokes | 6656 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3455 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1027 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $843,810 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gnf | 60% | 53 |
| #2 | Ron Stampler | 49% | 313 |
| #3 | danieL | 47% | 252 |
| #4 | Riddler | 44% | 255 |
| #5 | Keebs | 43% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gnf | 60% | 53 |
| #2 | Ron Stampler | 49% | 313 |
| #3 | danieL | 47% | 252 |
| #4 | Riddler | 44% | 255 |
| #5 | Keebs | 43% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron Stampler | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Riddler | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | danieL | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Keebs | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | gnf | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riddler | 411 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | Ron Stampler | 383 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | danieL | 182 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | gnf | 105 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Keebs | 77 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gnf | +2.63 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | danieL | +2.58 | 74 | 41 |
| #3 | 0tterMan | +2.16 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | Ron Stampler | +0.73 | 70 | 60 |
| #5 | Riddler | -4.43 | 50 | 47 |





