








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1391 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2252 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 760 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1714 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $987,579 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keebs | 49% | 59 |
| #2 | Ron Stampler | 45% | 202 |
| #3 | 0tterMan | 44% | 255 |
| #4 | gnf | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | danieL | 43% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keebs | 49% | 59 |
| #2 | Ron Stampler | 45% | 202 |
| #3 | 0tterMan | 44% | 255 |
| #4 | gnf | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | danieL | 43% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0tterMan | 18 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | danieL | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Ron Stampler | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Keebs | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0tterMan | 1243 | 0.24 | 28 min |
| #2 | Ron Stampler | 254 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | danieL | 120 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | gnf | 47 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Keebs | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gnf | +2.39 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | 0tterMan | +2.35 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | danieL | +2.35 | 74 | 46 |
| #4 | Ron Stampler | +1.02 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | Riddler | -4.28 | 50 | 46 |





