








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 697 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7971 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5785 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5262 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3756 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $959,456 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cubed | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | scooterJ | 57% | 116 |
| #3 | ZeedSaMa | 57% | 60 |
| #4 | goopMula | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | kooster | 55% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kooster | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | scooterJ | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | off da geek bar | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | delphiki | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Avro | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sou1 EateR | +2.96 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | cubed | +2.43 | 86 | 73 |
| #3 | Avro | +1.56 | 73 | 52 |
| #4 | kooster | +1.26 | 71 | 57 |
| #5 | scooterJ | +1.24 | 87 | 73 |





