








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,169 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 824 | 38% |
| Smokes | 384 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 562 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 399 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,874 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ( ^◡^)っ✂ ∪ | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | Kimbab | 51% | 97 |
| #3 | Icekitty | 46% | 79 |
| #4 | Ticd Off | 45% | 47 |
| #5 | leafeon :3 | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimbab | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | ( ^◡^)っ✂ ∪ | 8 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Icekitty | 3 | 0.0019 |





