








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,433 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 321 | 22% |
| Smokes | 175 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 570 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 367 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $340,724 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Stride | 50% | 18 |
| #7 | skeet mcgeet | 49% | 55 |
| #8 | Hampter | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | benJ | 40% | 15 |
| #10 | Big Goyf | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skeet mcgeet | 9 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Hampter | 5 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | Quesadilla | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Mike2taps | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | benJ | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quesadilla | 337 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | skeet mcgeet | 145 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | benJ | 47 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stride | 45 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hampter | 44 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sealtistic | +9.75 | 92 | 48 |
| #2 | benJ | +3.19 | 88 | 58 |
| #3 | Quesadilla | +2.12 | 67 | 67 |
| #4 | Stride | +1.38 | 54 | 46 |
| #5 | Please be patient, i am retarded | +0.35 | 72 | 41 |





