








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
240 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 182 | 25% |
| Smokes | 189 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 181 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 164 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $92,445 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Quesadilla | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Please be patient, i am retarded | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | skeet mcgeet | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | Doxling | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | Hampter | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quesadilla | 92 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | skeet mcgeet | 37 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | benJ | 21 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Please be patient, i am retarded | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Doxling | 14 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benJ | +6.87 | 94 | 55 |
| #2 | Quesadilla | +1.73 | 62 | 68 |
| #3 | Stride | +0.58 | 56 | 49 |
| #4 | Please be patient, i am retarded | +0.36 | 68 | 43 |
| #5 | Hazey07 | +0.24 | 14 | 53 |





