








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,309 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1052 | 32% |
| Smokes | 759 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 593 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 905 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $521,684 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazey07 | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | sealtistic | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Reminga | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Please be patient, i am retarded | 49% | 55 |
| #5 | Quesadilla | 47% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benJ | 13 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Please be patient, i am retarded | 10 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Hampter | 9 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | Quesadilla | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | sealtistic | 6 | 0.0162 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quesadilla | 363 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | benJ | 187 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Hampter | 100 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Reminga | 64 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #5 | Please be patient, i am retarded | 63 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sealtistic | +5.97 | 89 | 53 |
| #2 | benJ | +4.90 | 87 | 57 |
| #3 | Quesadilla | +2.12 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | Stride | +1.93 | 61 | 52 |
| #5 | Hampter | +1.13 | 70 | 46 |





