








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3867 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4038 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2168 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3473 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,320,410 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rectangle | 60% | 55 |
| #2 | Pathtogorry | 57% | 60 |
| #3 | Carlos | 53% | 101 |
| #4 | a.k.-man 我是俄罗斯人 | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Charles | 52% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | a.k.-man 我是俄罗斯人 | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Charles | 52% | 85 |
| #6 | BocchiTheAwp | 48% | 25 |
| #7 | Cable_ | 48% | 40 |
| #8 | Jimbo | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carlos | 11 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Rectangle | 9 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | BocchiTheAwp | 8 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | Pathtogorry | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Charles | 5 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carlos | 268 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Rectangle | 218 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Charles | 183 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | a.k.-man 我是俄罗斯人 | 88 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jimbo | 73 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rectangle | +3.93 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | Carlos | +3.80 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | Charles | +2.28 | 70 | 50 |
| #4 | Cable_ | +0.45 | 55 | 46 |
| #5 | a.k.-man 我是俄罗斯人 | +0.29 | 64 | 59 |





