








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 946 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3550 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3492 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1709 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3167 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,067,751 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 876 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dogpizza | 60% | 55 |
| #2 | Charles | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | Cable_ | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | Pathtogorry | 56% | 176 |
| #5 | Carlos | 56% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carlos | 21 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Pathtogorry | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Jimbo | 14 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | dogpizza | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Cable_ | 3 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carlos | 591 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | Charles | 245 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Jimbo | 244 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | DanieL | 219 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #5 | dogpizza | 179 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rectangle | +3.91 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | Carlos | +2.53 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | Charles | +1.37 | 65 | 57 |
| #4 | DanieL | +0.52 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | dogpizza | -0.19 | 63 | 56 |





