








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 490 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1416 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1845 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2257 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2598 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,575,887 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pisse aus meinem Arsch :< | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | Instii | 68% | 47 |
| #3 | Zed rustypot.com | 56% | 91 |
| #4 | EuleAxt2553 | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Krest | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Krest | 49% | 55 |
| #6 | NSK | 49% | 123 |
| #7 | Razupaltuv | 48% | 108 |
| #8 | Yai | 48% | 25 |
| #9 | Syntax | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Razupaltuv | 15 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | NSK | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Krest | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Syntax | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | EuleAxt2553 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NSK | 398 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Zed rustypot.com | 261 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Syntax | 159 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #4 | Instii | 116 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Razupaltuv | 110 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Instii | +1.76 | 73 | 70 |
| #2 | Razupaltuv | +1.12 | 67 | 45 |
| #3 | Zed rustypot.com | +1.00 | 54 | 67 |
| #4 | Pisse aus meinem Arsch :< | +0.95 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | drox | +0.92 | 73 | 52 |





