








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 786 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1545 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2959 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1986 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,379,724 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 304 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yai | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | Zed rustypot.com | 56% | 98 |
| #3 | giddyS | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | Syntax | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Krest | 53% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NSK | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | drox | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Krest | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Yai | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Syntax | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NSK | 612 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | Zed rustypot.com | 260 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | drox | 208 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Syntax | 140 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | giddyS | 130 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Syntax | +2.16 | 69 | 59 |
| #2 | Razupaltuv | +2.04 | 68 | 47 |
| #3 | drox | +1.50 | 74 | 52 |
| #4 | Zed rustypot.com | +1.20 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | Krest | +0.65 | 80 | 47 |





