








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 433 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3287 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4583 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3315 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3465 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,888,007 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sergiio1 | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | JagobaA7X | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | maqu1na 💔 | 57% | 108 |
| #5 | Orroxx | 56% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sace | 532 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | Orroxx | 431 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | maqu1na 💔 | 328 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | sendoh | 248 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ | 183 | 0.21 | 4 min |





