








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 872 | 26% |
| Smokes | 918 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 905 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 637 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $992,740 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 600 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gbad | 47% | 58 |
| #2 | Phantom | 46% | 65 |
| #3 | Porkal | 46% | 92 |
| #4 | Tilly | 41% | 116 |
| #5 | Skill Issue? | 41% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Phantom | 46% | 65 |
| #3 | Porkal | 46% | 92 |
| #4 | Tilly | 41% | 116 |
| #5 | Skill Issue? | 41% | 112 |
| #6 | O O O O O O O O O O O O O O | 38% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | O O O O O O O O O O O O O O | 31 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Porkal | 16 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Tilly | 12 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Skill Issue? | 10 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Phantom | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | O O O O O O O O O O O O O O | 333 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Skill Issue? | 169 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Porkal | 130 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tilly | 92 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Phantom | 88 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skill Issue? | +2.27 | 59 | 42 |
| #2 | Porkal | +1.80 | 54 | 39 |
| #3 | O O O O O O O O O O O O O O | +0.06 | 56 | 39 |
| #4 | Phantom | -0.08 | 51 | 41 |
| #5 | gbad | -0.32 | 39 | 31 |





