








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 167 | 30% |
| Smokes | 164 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 118 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 102 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $38,575 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tume- | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | eezak- | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Tubeteemu | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Käsna-Kalle | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | ImSoLonelyツ | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tubeteemu | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Käsna-Kalle | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | ImSoLonelyツ | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | Setä | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | SanttuS | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImSoLonelyツ | 2 | 0.0198 |
| #2 | Käsna-Kalle | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Käsna-Kalle | 44 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #2 | tume- | 21 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #3 | Setä | 18 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | ImSoLonelyツ | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | eezak- | 9 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tubeteemu | +2.81 | 57 | 38 |
| #2 | ImSoLonelyツ | +1.56 | 59 | 43 |
| #3 | Memmu | +0.38 | 57 | 56 |
| #4 | tume- | +0.15 | 81 | 59 |
| #5 | Setä | +0.13 | 67 | 79 |





