








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 792 | 30% |
| Smokes | 637 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 642 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 534 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,736 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Käsna-Kalle | 43% | 14 |
| #2 | ImSoLonelyツ | 42% | 45 |
| #3 | Memmu | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Käsna-Kalle | 43% | 14 |
| #2 | ImSoLonelyツ | 42% | 45 |
| #3 | Memmu | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImSoLonelyツ | 11 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | Käsna-Kalle | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImSoLonelyツ | 140 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Käsna-Kalle | 64 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | Memmu | 15 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Setä | +0.74 | 69 | 76 |
| #2 | ImSoLonelyツ | -1.21 | 44 | 46 |
| #3 | Memmu | -1.35 | 47 | 51 |
| #4 | Käsna-Kalle | -1.45 | 61 | 71 |





