








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 384 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3738 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3073 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3149 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2947 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4641 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,084,427 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 646 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gromit | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | POPCORN CHIKEN | 52% | 118 |
| #3 | Crooshu | 51% | 45 |
| #4 | BigPussy Mcgillicutti | 50% | 44 |
| #5 | Florijandro | 49% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | POPCORN CHIKEN | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Rolmaster | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Crooshu | 7 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Gromit | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | KRT_ | 5 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigPussy Mcgillicutti | +7.71 | 75 | 45 |
| #2 | Gromit | +5.29 | 72 | 23 |
| #3 | Florijandro | +4.54 | 83 | 38 |
| #4 | Crooshu | +4.33 | 55 | 68 |
| #5 | KRT_ | +3.84 | 66 | 58 |





