










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 158 matches | ||
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 406 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1371 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1754 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1735 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $657,153 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiveNLetDie | 88% | 69 |
| #2 | Doc | 87% | 39 |
| #3 | Nang Dogg | 80% | 55 |
| #4 | dakii | 77% | 190 |
| #5 | DopE | 70% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiveNLetDie | 22 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | Crooshu | 16 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Doc | 15 | 0.0192 |
| #4 | dakii | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | POPCORN CHIKEN | 7 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crooshu | 372 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | LiveNLetDie | 255 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | dakii | 190 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | Doc | 127 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | DopE | 102 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dakii | +6.31 | 94 | 48 |
| #2 | Doc | +5.07 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | Crooshu | +3.74 | 62 | 65 |
| #4 | Kid1Tap | +2.61 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | Gromit | +2.03 | 69 | 25 |





