








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 234 | 29% |
| Smokes | 229 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 147 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 190 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $100,460 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Suna | 53% | 17 |
| #7 | Muhku | 50% | 2 |
| #8 | King Artur | 50% | 8 |
| #9 | jodu | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | joelb- | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rammu | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | King Artur | 1 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Muhku | 1 | 0.0250 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koho | +2.58 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | Suna | +2.15 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | Iloinen | +1.94 | 84 | 28 |
| #4 | Rammu | +0.87 | 62 | 54 |
| #5 | AcE | +0.75 | 82 | 47 |





