








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 521 | 22% |
| Smokes | 689 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 298 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 878 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $366,130 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Iloinen | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | Rammu | 52% | 62 |
| #6 | King Artur | 48% | 25 |
| #7 | jodu | 46% | 65 |
| #8 | Suna | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rammu | 9 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | jodu | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Suna | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | King Artur | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | koho | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suna | 198 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #2 | jodu | 131 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Rammu | 129 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | King Artur | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Iloinen | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koho | +5.68 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | Suna | +4.17 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | AcE | +2.16 | 88 | 49 |
| #4 | Rammu | +1.96 | 66 | 53 |
| #5 | Iloinen | +1.29 | 81 | 41 |





