








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1654 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 412 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6494 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5547 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4300 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4739 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,656,120 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | juu | 46% | 147 |
| #7 | goldenbooty96 | 44% | 34 |
| #8 | jodu | 41% | 32 |
| #9 | Valtemort | 37% | 30 |
| #10 | King Artur | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rammu | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | King Artur | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | juu | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | jodu | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | elle | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juu | 362 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | elle | 283 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | Bax | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | goldenbooty96 | 70 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rammu | 68 | 0.10 | 2 min |





