








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1213 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1996 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4892 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 3836 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $876,571 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bigfatfrogg | 54% | 57 |
| #2 | (>_VOSS_<) | 53% | 53 |
| #3 | BOT Alexei | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | Straat-Kat | 50% | 104 |
| #5 | Kel | 49% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | NecessaryEvil | 48% | 63 |
| #10 | Vitamin Dee | 45% | 73 |
| #11 | F E E S H | 45% | 40 |
| #12 | Nicky | 43% | 105 |
| #13 | RIP_Jarhead | 41% | 22 |





