








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2669 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1903 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1363 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1727 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $349,417 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 458 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nigh_Flasher | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Hot_Shot | 50% | 76 |
| #3 | Devvv | 49% | 63 |
| #4 | Womble | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Yandere Tomboy Enthusiast | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Womble | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Yandere Tomboy Enthusiast | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | scarface☂ | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | 𝙨𝙖𝙗𝙚𝙏 | 36% | 11 |
| #8 | >synchron!ze. | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hot_Shot | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Devvv | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Yandere Tomboy Enthusiast | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | 𝙨𝙖𝙗𝙚𝙏 | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | >synchron!ze. | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devvv | 333 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hot_Shot | 104 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Womble | 50 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | scarface☂ | 33 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | 𝙨𝙖𝙗𝙚𝙏 | 24 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devvv | +2.33 | 93 | 60 |
| #2 | || KENJA || | +1.78 | 85 | 57 |
| #3 | Hot_Shot | +1.21 | 67 | 54 |
| #4 | Nigh_Flasher | +1.00 | 80 | 59 |
| #5 | 𝙨𝙖𝙗𝙚𝙏 | +0.48 | 68 | 51 |





