








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1724 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Wingman | 145 matches | ||
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




122 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7401 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7147 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5258 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5754 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,173,494 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seasoned Goose | 62% | 87 |
| #2 | SmellyTesty | 59% | 100 |
| #3 | Vertical | 58% | 179 |
| #4 | SpaghettiO's | 58% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seasoned Goose | 62% | 87 |
| #2 | SmellyTesty | 59% | 100 |
| #3 | Vertical | 58% | 179 |
| #4 | SpaghettiO's | 58% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmellyTesty | 17 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Seasoned Goose | 13 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Vertical | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | SpaghettiO's | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vertical | 303 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | SmellyTesty | 254 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Seasoned Goose | 239 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | SpaghettiO's | 163 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmellyTesty | +3.13 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | Seasoned Goose | +2.67 | 58 | 58 |
| #3 | Vertical | +1.25 | 66 | 42 |
| #4 | PinkNinja941 | +0.91 | 52 | 57 |
| #5 | SpaghettiO's | -1.95 | 56 | 33 |





