








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 648 | 16% |
| Smokes | 384 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1323 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1661 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,758 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Béla | 44% | 50 |
| #2 | Il_Balco | 44% | 41 |
| #3 | Cheto | 43% | 69 |
| #4 | dogass | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | Molegul | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cheto | 43% | 69 |
| #4 | dogass | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | Molegul | 41% | 32 |
| #6 | Gustavo Fring | 39% | 85 |
| #7 | LeGrig | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheto | 23 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | Gustavo Fring | 15 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | Béla | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Il_Balco | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Molegul | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gustavo Fring | 222 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Il_Balco | 153 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Béla | 94 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Cheto | 91 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | LeGrig | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gustavo Fring | +4.32 | 55 | 53 |
| #2 | Il_Balco | +2.77 | 68 | 58 |
| #3 | Cheto | +2.28 | 62 | 32 |
| #4 | Molegul | +1.40 | 47 | 25 |
| #5 | dogass | +1.37 | 32 | 19 |





