








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2439 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2391 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1632 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2740 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,448,563 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRK | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | ANX1ETY | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | NutMax | 58% | 69 |
| #4 | KONKR | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | Don Falcon | 56% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | KiCk!nG | 45% | 49 |
| #12 | Fun | 43% | 44 |
| #13 | Baba D DinkS | 43% | 135 |
| #14 | MrBonzei | 43% | 21 |
| #15 | ★ MrPeKay ★ | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | v1gues | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | SwiCH | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Don Falcon | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | LegumZ | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Baba D DinkS | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwiCH | 690 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #2 | LegumZ | 515 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | Baba D DinkS | 433 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | ForTiN | 337 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #5 | NutMax | 267 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ANX1ETY | +4.52 | 80 | 75 |
| #2 | Jord | +3.59 | 84 | 67 |
| #3 | KiCk!nG | +3.21 | 84 | 78 |
| #4 | NutMax | +3.00 | 72 | 71 |
| #5 | LegumZ | +2.03 | 65 | 75 |





