








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 728 matches | ||
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11203 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 49,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16467 | 33% |
| Smokes | 14381 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7266 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 11084 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,485,294 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ANX1ETY | 62% | 58 |
| #2 | Jord | 62% | 183 |
| #3 | KiCk!nG | 59% | 174 |
| #4 | t3zz | 58% | 137 |
| #5 | MrBonzei | 54% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | KONKR | 48% | 142 |
| #14 | v1gues | 48% | 229 |
| #15 | DRK | 47% | 123 |
| #16 | Baba D DinkS | 47% | 266 |
| #17 | Fun | 44% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ForTiN | 16 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | KiCk!nG | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | KONKR | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Don Falcon | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Jord | 8 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ForTiN | 1834 | 0.25 | 52 min |
| #2 | Jord | 1075 | 0.29 | 26 min |
| #3 | Baba D DinkS | 1028 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #4 | KiCk!nG | 973 | 0.27 | 30 min |
| #5 | KONKR | 794 | 0.26 | 19 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ANX1ETY | +4.53 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | KiCk!nG | +4.39 | 85 | 81 |
| #3 | Jord | +2.69 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | NutMax | +1.77 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | t3zz | +1.42 | 82 | 60 |





