








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 350 | 17% |
| Smokes | 762 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 457 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 497 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $278,404 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cal | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | NNAHOJ | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Johann | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | TibMySter | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | urusimp | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | NNAHOJ | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Johann | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | TibMySter | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | urusimp | 42% | 12 |
| #6 | Calstar | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urusimp | 5 | 0.0201 |
| #2 | cal | 5 | 0.0309 |
| #3 | NNAHOJ | 5 | 0.0309 |
| #4 | Calstar | 4 | 0.0121 |
| #5 | Johann | 2 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Calstar | 113 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #2 | cal | 62 | 0.38 | 2 min |
| #3 | urusimp | 60 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | NNAHOJ | 53 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #5 | Johann | 18 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cal | +7.55 | 60 | 87 |
| #2 | Calstar | +2.49 | 69 | 83 |
| #3 | NNAHOJ | +1.95 | 55 | 78 |
| #4 | Johann | +1.29 | 76 | 47 |
| #5 | urusimp | +0.73 | 60 | 71 |





