








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 86 | 15% |
| Smokes | 165 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 200 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 141 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $113,318 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urusimp | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | Calstar | 65% | 49 |
| #3 | cal | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Johann | 62% | 29 |
| #5 | NNAHOJ | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Calstar | 65% | 49 |
| #3 | cal | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Johann | 62% | 29 |
| #5 | NNAHOJ | 60% | 10 |
| #6 | Ajon | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urusimp | 26 | 0.0332 |
| #2 | Calstar | 25 | 0.0263 |
| #3 | NNAHOJ | 3 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | cal | 3 | 0.0184 |
| #5 | Johann | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Calstar | 297 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #2 | urusimp | 177 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | NNAHOJ | 64 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #4 | cal | 55 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| #5 | Johann | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urusimp | +4.89 | 65 | 73 |
| #2 | Calstar | +3.94 | 59 | 82 |
| #3 | cal | +3.88 | 59 | 83 |
| #4 | NNAHOJ | +3.24 | 53 | 78 |
| #5 | Johann | +2.31 | 73 | 53 |





