








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1830 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 510 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




179 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11401 | 33% |
| Smokes | 9232 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6252 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7654 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,228,904 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2398 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TibMySter | 65% | 49 |
| #2 | urusimp | 57% | 790 |
| #3 | Johann | 55% | 399 |
| #4 | Spec | 51% | 162 |
| #5 | TheRacingRover | 51% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TibMySter | 65% | 49 |
| #2 | urusimp | 57% | 790 |
| #3 | Johann | 55% | 399 |
| #4 | Spec | 51% | 162 |
| #5 | TheRacingRover | 51% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urusimp | 181 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Johann | 21 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | TibMySter | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Spec | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | TheRacingRover | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urusimp | 3225 | 0.20 | 76 min |
| #2 | Johann | 793 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | TheRacingRover | 528 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | Spec | 244 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | TibMySter | 23 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Calstar | +1.56 | 67 | 76 |
| #2 | urusimp | +1.45 | 65 | 73 |
| #3 | Spec | +0.06 | 73 | 48 |
| #4 | Johann | -0.70 | 70 | 55 |
| #5 | TheRacingRover | -0.89 | 66 | 66 |





