








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1995 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1989 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 797 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1688 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $633,157 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jumble | 100% | 12 |
| #2 | Mystery | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | mnemonic_time | 62% | 47 |
| #4 | Tresed | 55% | 58 |
| #5 | Jailman | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jumble | 100% | 12 |
| #2 | Mystery | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | mnemonic_time | 62% | 47 |
| #4 | Tresed | 55% | 58 |
| #5 | Jailman | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mnemonic_time | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Tresed | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Jumble | 5 | 0.0238 |
| #4 | Mystery | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Jailman | 4 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mnemonic_time | 216 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | Tresed | 163 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mystery | 148 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jumble | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jailman | 30 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jumble | +6.39 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Mystery | +3.87 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | Tresed | +2.80 | 85 | 68 |
| #4 | SuperMarkXD | +0.34 | 63 | 56 |
| #5 | Jailman | -0.26 | 50 | 63 |





