








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 615 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 495 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9402 | 27% |
| Smokes | 10582 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7738 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7493 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,652,776 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 450 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smush0 | 43% | 202 |
| #2 | Ander Dingus | 42% | 370 |
| #3 | Brett | 42% | 374 |
| #4 | Official_Calypso | 42% | 266 |
| 34% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Brett | 42% | 374 |
| #4 | Official_Calypso | 42% | 266 |
| 34% | 71 | ||
| 32% | 92 | ||
| 30% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ander Dingus | 38 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Smush0 | 16 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Official_Calypso | 11 | 0.0020 |
| 8 | 0.0053 | ||
| #5 | Brett | 7 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Appa | +1.90 | 40 | 68 |
| +1.56 | 79 | 44 | ||
| #3 | Smush0 | -0.88 | 46 | 54 |
| #4 | Ander Dingus | -1.46 | 33 | 48 |
| #5 | Official_Calypso | -1.64 | 33 | 60 |





