








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2336 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1953 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2803 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2831 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $605,834 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 305 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | th0n | 94% | 17 |
| #2 | Steve | 81% | 21 |
| #3 | taetto | 79% | 47 |
| #4 | Devil | 75% | 24 |
| #5 | iab | 72% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sEN4SY | 213 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #2 | ASDF | 158 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lilly | 92 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Zenvowo | 76 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | taetto | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASDF | +4.09 | 86 | 53 |
| #2 | sEN4SY | +3.90 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | th0n | +3.50 | 86 | 51 |
| #4 | taetto | +2.64 | 83 | 40 |
| #5 | Steve | +2.41 | 70 | 60 |





