








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1087 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2476 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1520 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1049 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $875,518 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | ASDF | 67% | 55 |
| #13 | Thinking | 65% | 51 |
| #14 | KARMA | 63% | 24 |
| #15 | K-ON! | 59% | 27 |
| #16 | iab | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hr | 126 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | ASDF | 112 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | 蔚山自由人^SMDX电竞 | 89 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Steve | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ape with AK | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |





