








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1096 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 365 matches | ||
| Esplay | 15 matches | 2,321 | |
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3415 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3145 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3393 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3546 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,380,442 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1068 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Röpsi | 74% | 31 |
| #2 | Huurre hellcase.com | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | Chadlander | 66% | 32 |
| #4 | ose | 65% | 46 |
| #5 | Nosci | 63% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | NotEvil | 57% | 77 |
| #12 | Localahlam | 57% | 44 |
| #13 | Cottori | 56% | 89 |
| #14 | EleGATES | 56% | 155 |
| #15 | makar | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cottori | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | EleGATES | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | NotEvil | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | SkRiww | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | masa | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toxic | +5.13 | 96 | 66 |
| #2 | NotEvil | +0.72 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | masa | +0.49 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | Cottori | +0.41 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | ose | +0.32 | 86 | 51 |





