








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 674 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 273 matches | ||
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Esplay | 51 matches | 1,979 | |
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6052 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6995 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7498 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5258 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5225 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,486,793 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 665 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NotEvil | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | Toxic | 56% | 155 |
| #3 | ose | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | masa | 55% | 204 |
| #5 | SÖRKANPASI | 53% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cottori | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | masa | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | SkRiww | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Nosci | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Toxic | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SÖRKANPASI | 787 | 0.28 | 21 min |
| #2 | Nosci | 688 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #3 | Toxic | 568 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #4 | SkRiww | 472 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | Cottori | 447 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toxic | +4.90 | 96 | 66 |
| #2 | masa | +3.68 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | ose | +2.47 | 84 | 56 |
| #4 | Cottori | +0.81 | 67 | 53 |
| #5 | NotEvil | +0.45 | 82 | 68 |





