








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 538 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4414 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3630 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2578 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2513 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,080,292 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NatterMel | 69% | 42 |
| #2 | KfEaSt7 | 59% | 119 |
| #3 | 𝘋𝘳3- | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Ribauzinho | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | Natano | 56% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Zorbacorvo | 53% | 173 |
| #8 | ʀᴀᴠᴇɴ ᴀɴɴ | 52% | 130 |
| #9 | Gol D. Roger | 44% | 25 |
| #10 | (gabss1) | 42% | 31 |
| #11 | Lev1 | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KfEaSt7 | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Zorbacorvo | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ʀᴀᴠᴇɴ ᴀɴɴ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Natano | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Lev1 | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KfEaSt7 | 529 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | Zorbacorvo | 394 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | Natano | 183 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | ♚Kuruma☯ | 128 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | (gabss1) | 127 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Natano | +4.71 | 83 | 79 |
| #2 | Ribauzinho | +4.66 | 90 | 63 |
| #3 | KfEaSt7 | +3.31 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | NatterMel | +1.50 | 61 | 63 |
| #5 | 𝘋𝘳3- | +1.23 | 69 | 63 |





