








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 810 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2639 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1883 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2232 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $981,360 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | IsLawPT | 52% | 130 |
| #6 | Zorbacorvo | 49% | 263 |
| #7 | Lev1 | 47% | 49 |
| #8 | NEOX | 42% | 26 |
| #9 | (gabss1) | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorbacorvo | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | IsLawPT | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | KfEaSt7 | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | 𝘋𝘳3- | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | (gabss1) | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorbacorvo | 675 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | IsLawPT | 595 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #3 | KfEaSt7 | 312 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #4 | Lev1 | 181 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | 𝘋𝘳3- | 150 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KfEaSt7 | +3.49 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | 𝘋𝘳3- | +2.35 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | Zorbacorvo | +2.07 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | NEOX | +1.75 | 75 | 70 |
| #5 | IsLawPT | +1.25 | 71 | 72 |





