








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 474 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2259 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5296 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4405 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2558 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2970 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $868,642 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Raspateco | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | Hipn0t1k (BAZINGA) | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | Latas | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | Oscean | 53% | 129 |
| #5 | GRAM ⭕⃤ | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :´) | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Oscean | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Hipn0t1k (BAZINGA) | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ✪Raspateco | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Latas | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oscean | 309 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | heartbreaker | 138 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | BISPO NU | 123 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | :´) | 114 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | GRAM ⭕⃤ | 89 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Latas | +5.21 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | m3K | +4.45 | 79 | 55 |
| #3 | ✪Raspateco | +4.24 | 82 | 73 |
| #4 | BISPO NU | +2.91 | 82 | 59 |
| #5 | Tuelo3 | +2.54 | 67 | 47 |





