








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 767 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 358 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1636 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1282 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1599 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1666 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,464,131 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2471 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cherufe | 63 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | lookslikeLucca | 32 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Ylia | 29 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | Flamzi | 24 | 0.0162 |
| #5 | Koselicious | 15 | 0.0112 |





