








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 772 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 556 matches | ||
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5549 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7585 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5551 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5246 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,132,851 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1600 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McPassi | 58% | 112 |
| #2 | dancermeister | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | h1r$ch | 56% | 285 |
| #4 | 1exn | 55% | 40 |
| #5 | Zer0 | 54% | 291 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h1r$ch | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Zer0 | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | -=DieteR=- | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | McPassi | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | 1exn | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -=DieteR=- | 1638 | 0.20 | 40 min |
| #2 | h1r$ch | 835 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #3 | kNi | 469 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #4 | Zer0 | 448 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #5 | pza1ko | 371 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1exn | +1.98 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | h1r$ch | +1.68 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | oh jonny! | +0.68 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | kNi | +0.43 | 66 | 66 |
| #5 | Zer0 | +0.40 | 75 | 59 |





